Thursday, December 20, 2007

el-p - little johnny from the hospital

El-P is from New York. He lives there. He has created and maintained (and produced much of the work on) Definitive Jux.

I'm unsure about El-P as a person. He seems very serious about things. I don't think he's capable of a high level of detachment or sarcasm. One time someone told me he started scratching his face off at a show, saying 'I'm going crazy!! I'm going crazy!!' and he was bleeding. This makes me a little afraid.

I rarely like his songs with lyrics. However, when he was in Company Flow, he made a really good beat CD called Little Johnny From the Hospital. The best one ever made, maybe. I will post songs and underneath them write what I think about when while I listen to them.

El-P - Workers Needed

I am walking on the sidewalk downtown. I am underground actually. I am in a massive underground power plant shoveling coal into a train cart. Robot overseers shock me with laser guided tasers. I'm shocked in the forehead with a taser and the robot overseer is looking at me. I stand up and am shoveling more coal into the train cart. Everyone's in overalls. Above the underground, fat little children in their Sunday Clothes play around with high voices.

El-P - 8MS Digi

I am a gigantic metal monster with a toast-shaped body. I am walking around downtown and really destroying things. Like going insane. I'm screaming a lot and the sound is like three million supernova explosions at point blank range repeatedly for 500 million years. There aren't any people around, I'm just destroying concrete buildings and dust is flying everywhere. Mostly I'm just annoyed with myself and hate myself.

El-P - Shadows Drown

I am a female praying mantis eating a male praying mantis' head and this is happening over and over until the song ends. I feel like swamp thing and want to be in a submarine while doing this. I sometimes feel it necessary to seek out a horrible underwater sea monster and fight it with a trident until I die.

Interviews here and here.

Monday, December 17, 2007

a physical sensation caused by the aesthetics of music (a mostly electronic post)

There's a physical sensation I feel when listening to certain parts of certain songs.

It feels like my eyeballs vibrate a little, and a strange flash runs through my throat, the flash feels like adrenaline or something, I'm forced to swallow and the swallowing feels really good, my ears quiver a bit, my eyes close for a second, my breathing feels really good. This sensation lasts like two seconds, maybe.

Here is a song by Boards of Canada (Warp Records) that does this to me:

Boards of Canada - Left Side Drive

I experience the feeling at 00:32. I'm not sure if saying this will ruin it for others. I don't care. One of the first times I listened to this song I was feeling emotional about a girl. It makes me feel like a peaceful idiot sometimes. Sometimes it makes me want to cry softly while walking on a sidewalk and having people notice me crying softly causing them to see beauty in incredible depression or something.

Here is a video by Boards of Canada called Dayvan Cowboy:

Watching this makes me feel really emotional. I want to jump from outer space on to the planet. So bad.

The following song by Dosh causes me the physical sensation. What is this sensation termed? Physioaesthetic experience? I don't know. It's like being really high on drugs for a short amount of time.

Dosh - Naoise

The experience happens at 01:07 and can renew itself repeatedly (intense periods of euphoria) until about 01:35. Dosh teaches children how to play drums and, I think, is on anticon. I talked to Dosh once. He wore a hat and a beard. He toured with Andrew Bird, who I don't listen to.

Too many songs on the 13 & God album (self titled) make me feel like I'm going to cry. I sometimes find it difficult to listen to.

13 & God - Men of Station

13 & God is on anticon. The experience is at 00:31. The album is really good. The song I uploaded is melodramatic. It's a WMA, so you have to get iTunes to convert it. Windows Media Player and Winamp shouldn't have problems with the file. Sometimes I walk into objects when listening to this song and keep walking into the objects like a defective robot until the song ends.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Bomb the Music Industry! & Arrogant Sons of Bitches

Here are three songs by Bomb the Music Industry!
Future 86

493 Ruth

Sweet Home Cananada
The main person in it, Jeff Rosenstock, was the main person in Arrogant Sons of Bitches. Here are five songs by Arrogant Sons of Bitches. I listened to the second song a lot while riding a bike around my neighborhood in Florida like a year ago every night for something to do. I like how it makes me feel now. It makes me feel different. The song sounds different. I like the song. I don't know what else to type about it.

His record label now where he puts out his own music is free, the songs are on there for free. (He takes donations.)

I think he is 24 or something and has something like eight full-length albums out on two bands and a record label. Good job.

Here is the link to the info page of his record label.

Sunday, December 9, 2007


Mutual Friends

There was nothing remotely romantic about it. No hand-me-down sob-stories, either nurtured or genetic. So what was so goddamn important that I felt I had to shelve each and every one of my convictions? Secured and mutually reassured of our consistency. But your defense rejects what (you claim) you believe. Because what the fuck is so "sociable" about animal-confinement and torture, union busting, sexism and isn't strange how you don't call anymore?
About As Close to Emo As We'll Ever Get

I hid inside my room like a fucking coward (what? please kill me). The past eighteen months flashed before me in the last eight long hours. It was amazing, you finally got a rise out of me. I laughed, I cried (well I tried, but I laughed again). Who the fuck needs a caricature to be their friend? It's so fucking stupid. I'm just as scared and insecure as you (maybe even x2). And I wonder what you really thought of me. An intimate friend? A loud-mouth jerk or just a novelty? This is not an apology, just therapy, cause as we all know (and apparently), I don't need anybody.
Less Talk, More Rock

I'd like to actively encourage the toughest man to dance as hard as he can to this, my song. And bring your stupidest friends along. We wrote this song cause it's fucking boring to keep spelling out the words that you keep ignoring. And your macho shit won't phase me now. It just makes us laugh. We got your cash, court jester take a bow. Cause did you know that when I was 9 I tried to fuck a friend of mine. He was 8, then I turned 10. 14 years later it happened again, with another friend. This time it was me on the receiving end. All the fists in the world can't save you now. If you dance to this, you drink to me. And my sexuality. With your hands down my pants by transitive property.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I like this severely-depressed ghetto version Rilo Kiley

Intense Drumming

I think there was a 'genre' of punk music called 'skate-punk.'

The drummers in these bands all the did the thing where you use your heel and front of the foot to do a 'double' bass hit in one movement of the foot with one pedal. They did that to make it really fast and do a normal beat with two bass notes, a snare, one bass, a snare, etc. a lot faster.

This created intense drumming situations.

I played drums in high school and remember going to a messageboard to look for bands that had intense drumming.

CDs I remember with the most intense drumming, that I found, were Ballads From the Revolution by Good Riddance (drummer was Sean Sellers; you can hear here) and Suburban Teenage Wasteland Blues by Strung Out (drummer was Jordan Burns, live example here, or see below, the youtube, I really like that song, I wish the mp3 was available online). And maybe Hoss by Lagwagon (drummer was Derrick Plourde [committed suicide]). All those CDs were 'engineered' by Ryan Greene, who seemed to have 'engineered' every CD during this time where the drummer did that fast beat using one pedal.

Those two CDs by Good Riddance and Strung Out are intense to me, I like how the guitars and drums sound.

I can't find mp3s. I can only find this thing with a song off Suburban Teenage Wasteland Blues. I like how the drums and guitar sound.

I don't know why I typed this post. I know that this is probably only interesting to me because I spent time on it in high school. I really do know that. Thank you for reading.

I like that song because it is intense and the lyrics don't repeat themselves and the song doesn't repeat itself. It has no chorus and isn't catchy but I can listen to it a lot of times. I like the lyrics. Yes, that applies to a lot of songs. I think people like songs based on other things except what they sound like. I really do. You meet someone and they like some kind of music, some people like some kind, other people another kind, they like the same books or something but different music. It depends on things that happened in society and who they talked to and what they listened to as a child and who told them what was good I think more than what something sounds like.


I am going to type something. cLOUDDEAD.

I typed it and found some webpages with cLOUDDEAD.

I'm not sure which label cLOUDDEAD is on. They've put out albums on both Mush and Big Dada. All three members are now on anticon. I've already linked anticon in other places.

The three members of cLOUDDEAD are Dose One, Why?, and Odd Nosdam. You can find links to these people from other links in this entry or by googling their names.

cLOUDDEAD is the best musical collaboration that has existed. Here's a song. It's from the album 'Ten'.

cLOUDDEAD - Sun of a Gun.mp3

I think there is a term for what happens to me when they start screaming in the beginning. My ears quiver and my eyes kind of roll back in my head and I swallow and it feels extremely good to swallow. I think they are screaming out their angst for everything. Then they sing about Abraham Lincoln. Then Dose One is talking really fast.

Dose One is good. One time Dose One was in Spain and someone stole all of his things. My friend sent him a picture of me and Dose One drew it for 50$. My friend gave it to me for Christmas. Dose One drew my face and a human heart. My face was a human heart to Dose One.
Here is another song.

cLOUDDEAD - Rifle Eyes.mp3

This song is about death and decay. It has a desert setting. Everything about this song is good.

I have once again posted mp3's from my hard drive. I hope this is ok. I encourage you to buy their albums from the record label that sells them, and not from Amazon or something. Or a local record store, this would be good too.

cLOUDDEAD - Physics of a Unicycle.mp3

Here is the final song. Soon I think I'll post an entry with one song but talk about totally different shit that has nothing to do with music.

Here is a cLOUDDEAD interview.

This song is by Why?

I like this. I think Why? is a good person.

kill tone by odd nosdam

Odd Nosdam is on anticon. This song can be found on his latest album 'Level Live Wires'.

I originally posted this video on my blog, under the title 'existential despair'.

I linked my boss to this video and he said 'Slightly disturbing'. I linked my friend in Toronto and she said, 'The doll idea is played out'.

If I am listening to music, the music is Odd Nosdam probably . . . 30% of the time.

"Less Than Nothing" by I Hate Myself

The second song. (lyrics below)
60 watts, brighter than my future,
an empty forty, fuller than my life,
there must be more, sometimes i don't think so,
maybe i'm right, maybe there's no such thing as a brighter side
a sultry night, stare at moons from rooftops,
a broken engine, poisoned never dry,
i pour my heart out to a god that doesn't listen,
you said you'd save me, you said you'd love me always but you lied

and i can't dry my eyes and there is nothing left inside,
one day, the day, the day that i said i,
my heart inside was cold so that you didn't know,
so all and you, you won't love me at all,
the leaves come down,
there is no sound,
and if i fall would you notice at all?

the thought of me repulses me,
but you'd say you took me anyway,
i am so alone on a corroded city rooftop,
i saw you walking, you didn't say anything,
you always told me that you'd never stop loving me,
but you stopped before you started and now all i have is lies

what am i gonna be?
who am i gonna be?
afraid, repressed,
and now that i feel lost,
well i wish that you had grown
while i bleed all alone,
the falling rain
is what is left for me
we're gonna be
what's left for me
what is there to learn?
there is less than nothing,
i thought you'd be, be there for me
you weren't there, you weren't anywhere

you lied right to my face
you broke my fucking heart,
one day, one day you tore my heart apart
and i have nothing,
and i am nothing,
i'm piss,
i'm shit,
i am less than nothing
Some of those are wrong I think. I got it from some site.

Here is an interview ("The fact that he decided to call the band the most appropriate name for the type of music is hilarious. I think it allowed him to be a bit more creative with the lyrics.") with the drummer who is the singer and songwriter's brother.

Here is their wikipedia ("Despite the supposed signs of being a "joke band", the music itself was never presented in a "jokey" manner and the lyrics laid out coherent storylines and characters.") page.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

relativity song by erin tobey


I'm at work. I haven't done anything since I got here. I've been here for two hours. For the past week and a half, I've probably done something 'work-related' at work for a total of five hours. I'm going to blog about Why? now. Why? is on anticon. I like almost every artist on this label. I think Why? actually helped start this label. I will include mp3's that I've uploaded from my personal hard drive. I think Why? would be okay with this, don't worry.

This is where I listen to Why?: At work through my headphones, walking on the street through my headphones, and at home, without headphones, coming from the speakers on my laptop.

I'll say things about why I enjoy Why?. Why? doesn't seem pretentious. All things he says I can relate to. I feel like if Why? and I were to email each other, we'd eventually work ourselves into such a fit of despair that we would fly to a hotel room some place between Oakland and Seattle and commit a double suicide. Here is a song by Why? that I like. You can find this song on the album titled 'Oaklandazulasylum'. It's called 'Cold Lunch (Albert Brown Mortuary Dumpster Dive Remix)'.

Here are the lyrics to this song:
It's watching your own shadow on a dirt bike
get shot in the back under a street light
when you arrive at the party, it will not be
without a bullet in your back
and a poem about death
and of course your walkman.

Here is another song that I like by Why?. This song is off 'Miss Ohio's Nameless.' I'm pretty sure Odd Nosdam produced the whole album. This song makes me feel emotion for Why? every time I hear it. I'm pretty sure that the only music I like is music that makes me feel emotional. I think Why? might have been crying when he sang this song. I also think that when he made this song, a mic was turned on or something, and they accidentally recorded it, and realized it later, and listened to it, and thought 'this is good,' and released it on their album. I like that. I think Why? does things like this often. This reinforces my viewpoints on sarcasm. Sarcasm and Why?. Why? seems sarcastic. I like him.

I'm not sure about the lyrics to this song. He's crying about LaGuardia Airport. I think this is good. I like that he cries about LaGuardia Airport.

One time Why? said that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was 'much more tangible' than couscous. I like that a lot. Here is the last song I'm going to post today. It's also off 'Miss Ohio's Nameless.'

Here are some of the lyrics.
I've been consulting my cub scout book on how to tie a slipknot,
I took the reflectors off my bike and I've been riding on one-lane bridges at night in black clothes.

I've been consulting my cub scout book on how to tie a slipknot,
I always end up crying in front of math teachers when I'm trying to play it so cool.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Plan-It-X Records

I'll blog about Plan-It-X (wikipedia) tonight. It is 1:30 a.m., I feel alive. I usually don't feel really alive until after 4 a.m. From 12 a.m. to 4 a.m. people are still awake, doing things, distracting me from being alive, ruining my life. Before 12 a.m. I worry a lot. From 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. I really don't do anything, I walk around outside feeling alienated and if it's cold outside cold and even pissed-off though sarcastically. I'm not really pissed-off. If I drop a $6 smoothie I just bought on my pants I won't make noises. I will silently process what happened and work on fixing it. I'll feel better than before due to being distracted from emotional thoughts about the despair I feel. Days I have work I usually go to sleep before 4 a.m.

Plan-It-X, their cds are all $5 with free shipping, here is what Chris Johnston who does Plan-It-X says,
i work hard everyday for my label and if i had to have a job i wouldn't be able to do as much as i do for my label. i haven't worked a job for 5 years now. i run my label and tour in my band. the two things combined manage to pay my rent and buy me food and that's all i need. my rent is 275.00 a month. i also pay 100.00 a month to pay rent for a local group called page to prisoners. i can sometimes afford to pay my friends to help me with label stuff. i don't drive a new car (i drive a wrecked mini-van that sometimes doesn't have reverse). i'm not ashamed of living off of my label. i work hard and i don't feel like i'm ripping off anyone. no one is complaining. i try to live a good lifestyle. i shop responsibly, i donate money to great groups, i share with my friends and pay for my friends meals etc. i put back nearly all of the money i make into the "scene" i host benefit events that raise a lot of money sometimes. i couldn't do as much if i had to be stuck at a job.
I like that. I like Gene Morgan because with Bear Parade he pays a lot of money to the authors and you never read an essay by him where he complains for five paragraphs and then says that Bear Parade is "a labor of love."

If someone is having sex you don't hear them say, "I'm okay with doing this even though I'm not getting paid because it is a labor of love." People don't get paid for having sex in a relationship. Gene Morgan doesn't get paid for doing Bear Parade. Chris Johnston doesn't get paid really for doing Plan-It-X. He probably makes like $2 an hour from doing the record label. Gene Morgan gets paid like -$10 an hour probably. Yes, negative. He loses money. I help pay the authors a little also so I make something negative on Bear Parade or something. Gene Morgan loses more money than some people make. And none of these people complain and then say that what they are doing is a "labor of love."

If I started a press I would feel really terrible complaining to the author about all the work I was doing for them without getting paid. I would feel really bad wanting to edit the author's book. I would want to make it so that if I was failing I would like not sleep for a week to do something. Yes, that is really vague, probably because I don't know what I'm talking about exactly.

Here are some songs I like by bands that Plan-It-X have put out some of their things.

Secret Letters by Erin Tobey

I Grow Like a Plant by Erin Tobey

England by Ghost Mice

Amazing Kids by Antsy Pants (second song)

I'm Just Going to Leave by Defiance, Ohio

That is enough songs. If I post too many no one will care. I blogged a lot. I feel strange and anxious. I should also say that all I said about money is within a context and goal that I realize is arbitrary therefore this post should not be read rhetorically but just as another fact, another point-of-view, another thing that is a fact within a certain context and goal, no different than any other thing that is true within whatever context or goal but becomes untrue from any other perspective except itself. To read about knowledge of context and goals and the arbitrary nature of the universe making it so all my rhetoric is sarcastic go here. I will no longer post on that site. Because I don't know what it is really. Things I would post on that site I will now post here.